There is something you know about me, something very personal, and there is something I know about every one of you and that is very central to your concerns. There is something that we know about everyone we meet anywhere in the world, on the street, that is the very mainspring of whatever they do and whatever they put up with. And that is that all of us want to be happy. In this, we are all together.
How we imagine our happiness, that differs from one another, but it’s already a lot that we have all in common, that we want to be happy. Now we will be talking about gratitude. What is the connection between happiness and gratitude? Many people would say, well, that’s very easy. When you are happy, you will have a sense of gratitude. But think again. Is it really the happy people that have a sense of gratitude? We all know quite a number of people who have everything that it would take to be happy, and they are not happy, because they want something else or they want more of the same. And we all know people who have lots of misfortune, misfortune that we ourselves would not want to have, and they are deeply happy. They radiate happiness. You are surprised. Why? Because they have a sense of gratitude.
So, it is not happiness that makes us have a sense of gratitude. It’s gratitude that makes us happy. If you think it’s happiness that results in gratitude, think again. It’s gratitude that makes you happy. Now, we can ask, what do we really mean by gratitude? And how does it work? I appeal to your own experience. We all know from experience how it goes. We experience something that is valuable to us. Something is given to us that is valuable to us. And it’s really given. These two things have to come together. It has to be something valuable, and it’s a real gift. You haven’t bought it. You haven’t earned it. You haven’t traded it in. You haven’t worked for it. It’s just given to you. And when these two things come together, something that’s really valuable to me and I realize it’s freely given, then gratitude spontaneously rises in my heart, happiness spontaneously rises in my heart. That is how gratitude happens.
Now the key to all this is that we cannot only experience this once in a while. We cannot only have experiences of gratitude. We can be people who live with gratitude. Living with a sense of gratitude, that is the thing. And how can we live with a sense of gratitude? By experiencing, by becoming aware that every moment is a given moment, as we say, it’s a gift. You haven’t earned it. You haven’t brought it about in any way. You have no way of assuring that there will be another moment given to you, and yet, that’s the most valuable thing that can ever be given to us, this moment, with all the opportunity that it contains. If we didn’t have this present moment, we wouldn’t have any opportunity to do anything or experience anything, and this moment is a gift. It’s a given moment, as we say.
Now, we say the gift within this gift is really the opportunity. What you are really grateful for is the opportunity, not the thing that is given to you, because if that thing were somewhere else and you didn’t have the opportunity to enjoy it, to do something with it, you wouldn’t be grateful for it. Opportunity is the gift within every gift, and we have this saying, opportunity knocks only once. Well, think again. Every moment is a new gift, over and over again, and if you miss the opportunity of this moment, another moment is given to us, and another moment. We can avail ourselves of this opportunity, or we can miss it, and if we avail ourselves of the opportunity, it is the key to happiness. Behold the master key to our happiness in our own hands. Moment by moment, we can be grateful for this gift.
Does that mean that we can be grateful for everything? Certainly not. We cannot be grateful for violence, for war, for oppression, for exploitation. On a personal level, we cannot be grateful for the loss of a friend, for unfaithfulness, for bereavement. But I didn’t say we can be grateful for everything. I said we can have a sense of gratitude for every given moment for the opportunity, and even when we are confronted with something that is terribly difficult, we can rise to this occasion and respond to the opportunity that is given to us. It isn’t as bad as it might seem. Actually, when you look at it and experience it, you find that most of the time, what is given to us is the opportunity to enjoy, and we only miss it because we are rushing through life and we are not stopping to see the opportunity.
But once in a while, something very difficult is given to us, and when this difficult thing occurs to us, it’s a challenge to rise to that opportunity, and we can rise to it by learning something which is sometimes painful. Learning patience, for instance. We have been told that the road to peace is not a sprint, but is more like a marathon. That takes patience. That’s difficult. It may be to stand up for your opinion, to stand up for your conviction. That’s an opportunity that is given to us. To learn, to suffer, to stand up, all these opportunities are given to us, but they are opportunities, and those who avail themselves of those opportunities are the ones that we admire. They make something out of life. And those who fail to get another opportunity. We always get another opportunity. That’s the wonderful richness of life.
So how can we find a method that will harness this? How can each one of us find a method for living with a sense of gratitude, not just once in a while being grateful, but moment by moment to be filled with gratitude. How can we do it? It’s a very simple method. It’s so simple that it’s actually what we were told as children when we learned to cross the street.Stop.Look. Go. That’s all. But how often do we stop? We rush through life. We don’t stop. We miss the opportunity because we don’t stop. We have to stop. We have to get quiet. And we have to build stop signs into our lives. A missionary shared a story of how he learned to show gratitude for water. He said when he was in Africa and then came back, he noticed “water”.In Africa in the village he was staying, he didn’t have drinkable water or stable electricity. So when he returned home, every time he turned on the faucet, he was overwhelmed. Every time he clicked on the light, he was filled with gratitude. It made him so happy. But after a while, this wears off. So, he put little stickers on the light switch and on the water faucet, and every time he turned it on, water.
You can find whatever works best for you, but you need to stop signs in your life. And when you stop, then the next thing is to look. You look. You open your eyes. You open your ears. You open your nose. You open all your senses for this wonderful richness that is given to us. There is no end to it, and that is what life is all about, to enjoy, to enjoy what is given to us. And then we can also open our hearts, our hearts for the opportunities, for the opportunities also to help others, to make others happy, because nothing makes us happier than when all of us are happy. And when we open our hearts to the opportunities, the opportunities invite us to do something, and that is the third. Stop, look, and then go, and really do something. And what we can do is whatever life offers to you in that present moment. Mostly it’s the opportunity to enjoy, but sometimes it’s something more difficult. But whatever it is, if we take this opportunity, we go with it, we are creative, those are the creative people.
There is a wave of gratitude because people are becoming aware of how important this is and how this can change our world. It can change our world in immensely important ways because if you are grateful, you are not fearful, and if you are not fearful, you are not violent. If you are grateful, you act out of a sense of enough and, not of a sense of scarcity, and you are willing to share. If you have gratitude, you will appreciate the differences between people, and you are respectful to everybody, and that changes this power pyramid under which we live. And it doesn’t make for equality, but it makes for equal respect, and that is the important thing.
Finally, research shows that adopting an attitude of gratitude simply expressing appreciation and being more thankful can measurably improve your overall well-being. In addition, it has also been proven that people who capture grateful thoughts before bed sleep better than those who don’t. Why so many positive changes, this is because gratitude actually rewires our brains kick-starting the production of dopamine and serotonin-like antidepressants. These feel-good neurotransmitters activate the Blisscenter of the brain creating feelings of happiness and contentment. Here are a few simple ways to deliberately cultivate that attitude of gratitude. Celebrate minor accomplishments think about what you have rather than dwelling on what you don’t. Tell the people in your life something you appreciate about them, tell yourself to volunteer, hold a door fora stranger or simply smile more and you will probably feel better as kindness and giving are connected to gratitude. You can also think about things you are grateful for as a daily routine. The science is clear to give gratitude a go. You will be thankful you did.
