At a recent focus group discussion with teenagers, they described peer pressure of being subtle to the point that you may not even know that it is happening. The need to fit in and feel wanted, which is a common reason for teens to give in to peer pressure, can make you travel down paths or do things you naturally will not want to do. Evidence from young people, who gave in to peer pressure, reveals that most time the pressure is about trying to please their friends, fitting in, not to be the odd one out, the “Outsider”. Giving in to peer pressure can be as simple as staying silent when you know you should speak up, to engaging in actions that you know are not right and sometimes you are aware they are illegal, but you go ahead with it against your better judgment.
Developing a healthy self-confidence is an important step to be considered when preparing young people and giving them the arsenal needed to withstand the onslaught of peer pressure. Self-confidence gives the individual the moral courage to stand on his better judgment and not give in to peer pressure irrespective of the source of the pressure or who is present. As a result, building your self-confidence as a young person is your best defense for resisting peer pressure.
The good news is that self-confidence is a skill. This means it can be learned and developed even if you are extremely low on self-confidence now. It is important to note that self-confidence is not a personal characteristic. Contrary to popular wisdom, self-confidence is not something people are born with, it’s a response to a situation; confidence can be built or destroyed depending on the environment
Now, a shy or introverted person might say that is all good for outgoing people, but I will never be confident. That is not true, because remember we said earlier that self-confidence is a skill, which means that anyone can develop confidence. Even the majority of shy people have moments where they are not shy. Like around people they trust, maybe family, friends, or around environments and people they are comfortable around and can express themselves freely; so, the shyness is selective. This means you can make confidence permanent if you consciously decide to be that person and do the things you do, not just around those you trust the most, but all the time irrespective of the environment.
Self-confidence is not walking into a room thinking that you are better than everyone; it is walking into a situation knowing that you do not have to compare yourself to anyone. Comparing yourself to your peers is one of the traps of peer pressure. Because you will say if John thinks it is okay then it should be okay by me too. However, when you build your self-confidence, comparing yourself to other people will not be in your system of decision making.
A self-confident person understands that he is not in competition with anyone. This individual is fully aware that he or she is not above anyone or below anyone: but that he is unique and has the right to hold his or her opinion even if it is different from the entire group. When you can get to the place in your life where the comparison is dead, where you are good enough not to others but to yourself, that is confidence and you can be good enough right now because you are good enough right now. You do not need to fit into the box your peers will prepare for you before you can accept yourself as being good enough. This is entirely your decision and you can take this decision at any time. This is what self-confidence helps you do.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
Psalm 139:14
It is true that some people may have to work on it harder than others because they have conditioned themselves into a lack of confidence for most of their life. Trying to please everyone is a trap that should be avoided at all costs. Before you do anything, ask yourself: “Am I doing this thing because I want to do it?” or “Am I doing it as a result of fear of judgment from others?”
They are several ways to build your self-confidence, and it starts with identifying what makes you feel less confident. This is different depending on the individual and it is an important starting point to building your self-confidence. This is really important because just as confidence can be built, confidence can also be destroyed. So, as young people, become aware of what makes you feel self-confident and what destroys your self-confidence. With this knowledge, it is recommended that you become aware of these environments that contribute to developing a healthy self-confidence and consciously live in these environments especially in your mindset.
Building your self-confidence will enable you to accept yourself, it will be instrumental to your achieving success in most endeavours you engage in, even as it gives you the ability to be your own person, stand your ground and resist any form of peer pressure. As a result, it is a critical skill that you need to invest time and a definite will to achieve. Knowing that it is not only for a selected few, you are not born with it, it is not a personal characteristic, but it can be developed by anyone and anyone can learn to become self-confident.
So, go out there and show the world how confident you are.
